Clerks II

yay for kevin smith!

http://www.slashfilm.com/article.php/20060403141051202

*click on the appropiate link for your format of choice*

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 4 April 2006

hmm, create some stuff..

hmm, create some stuff eh? well then, maybe i will! but...but...what to write about?? usually i go into these things with a basic idea of what it is that i want to write about, but not really this time. all i know is that i feel like writing anynother one of these, so thats why im here!

well i guess i can talk about my night, this oh so craptactular night that i had, once again thanks to my overprotective parents. you see, earlier this week my girlfriend Krysta asked me if i wanted to go to the Zao concert with her and her friends, so i was like "yea!", but said i had to ask my parents, cause thats just the way they are, i pretty much can't do anything without "getting their permission" first. so, yea, back to asking about the concert, when i asked my mom on the way home from work tuesday night (i think, that or wednesday), she just straight out said no. and then went to talk the whole way home about how these clubs are dangerous, and i could get stabbed or shot or someone could slip me some drugs and stuoid crap like that. she said that she doesn;t want to put me in "dangerous situations" like that. now of course this is most definately not the first time shes done something like this, they do this to me all the time, so most of the time i don't even bother asking them if i can do something, because i know what their answer will be, i just say that i can't do it. i was going to do that for the concert, but i really wanted to go to it, because i don't get to see Krysta as often as i would like because i work nights, so this was one night that i had off and could have spent with her, but instead sat here in the dark on msn. but oh well, its nothing new, im used to it.

so yeah, what a lovely way to start the weekend. my parents ruined my night and weekend without even being home. they went to the trailer, so yay, i get the house to myself for the weekend and can do whatever right? nope! cause, you know, that would be too nice of them. so lets see, i'm not really allowed to do anything, i'm not allowed having anyone over here, and even if i do get to go out (that is, after calling them to see if i can), i have a damn curfew of 11:30. and of course their threat to me if i wasn't home by then would be that i'd have to go to the trailer with them every weekend. which, i'd like to see me do, when i work most weekends.

my parents are soo full of idle threats.

hmm, so yeah, what else to talk about?? oh i know, i found out that my "friend" who i helped get a job back in october and then stopped talking to me (as talked about in my first diary post), is moving back down the street from me again, oh joy. just when you think that you're finally over something and don't care anymore (which i know i was, seeing as how when i got her new number over a month ago from a guy the both of us know (who is also the one who told me she's moving back), i still haven't talked to her or anything), now im going to have to deal with the a very good possibity of running into her again, seeing as how i deliver the newspaper three times a week to her house. oh what joy that day's going to be.

hmm, maybe i'll end this diary entry on a bit of a happy note. i found out today that i got a perfect grade on an ISU for my English class that was worth 5% of my course grade, and i also got perfect on my final project in programming class (an ASP based webpage

see you in the funny pages

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 12 June 2004

Personality Disorder..

Personality Disorder Test Results

Disorder: Rating

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Very High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Test
info

1 Comments | Send To Friend | 31 May 2004

have you ever just sat..

have you ever just sat there feeling helpless, and horrible because someone you cared about needed help, but you didn't know how to help them? Thats how im feeling right now becuase i don't know how to help a friend in their time of need. I don't really want to go into any details here, because i'm sure she doesn't want any out, and i'm going to respect her privacy in this matter, but i just wish i knew of something that i could do. but i don't. i've never gone through anything like she has, i've never been in as much pain as she is in right now, never experienced the amount of sorrow she is experiencing right now. i wish i knew of something to do, wish i knew the right words to say to her when we next speak, but i'm afraid i don't. how can you assure someone that everything is going to be alright, when you've never experienced what they are, and have never seen the happy ending?

i don't know what to do, or how to help, but i just want you to know krysta, that whatever i can do, i'll do. however i can help, i'll help.

you are not alone.

1 Comments | Send To Friend | 19 May 2004

well here was another..

well here was another night that could have been soo full of potential gone to waste. im actually glad that i only get about one night a week off from work, this allows me to avoid many nights like this. nights where i just sit in front of this computer, endlessly looking at the same websites looking to see if theres been updates simply because i have nothing better to do. just been sitting here listening to some of my depressing-ish music, seems to be fitting the way im feeling right now and have been for some reason for the last few days. and i don't know why. i was fine this morning when i was touring Sheridan. i was fine when we were wonding around Yorkdale and stopped for lunch. i was fine when i was playing video games with my friend and brother (and his friend). but then it just came, no reason, no warming, this feeling of emptiness, of loniness, of not wanting to exist anymore and just wishing i could vanish decided to hit me like a ton of bricks. its almost like in those old cartoons where someone is walking by a construction site and forgets to duck as the wreaking ball comes swinging right for them. that sort of sudden impact that takes your breath away has once again come into my little world. and why you and i might ask? i don't have an answer to that one, do you, or someone you know, mr. diary? hmm, well to end this diary entry off (even though i'm think theres gonna be another one coming tonight), im left sitting here wondering what is up with this diary "Mood" selecter? i mean, out of all the 36 choices, not one of them is "depressed", and i know from reading alot of other diary entries by people on this site, that is a mood alot of people are in when they are writing these things. now i know that they have Melancholy as one of the options, and it is similar in meaning to depressed, its just not depressed. and actually, the only choice that starts with a "D" in that list is "Drunk", which i know alcohol is a dressent, which i guess could get you into the same mood that im in right now, it just doesn't seem to fit. oh well, i guess i'm just stuck with my melancholic mood

1 Comments | Send To Friend | 25 April 2004

well this night didn't..

well this night didn't turn out the way i thought it was going to. i did have plans to go see a friend of mine tonight, but she had to go into work, so we didn't get together, which sucks because we haven't seen each other in a few months (since before christmas i think), and i was looking forward to it, even though it was a spur of the moment, last minute sorta plans. but oh well, hopefully we'll get together some other time

so yeah, my night was spent sitting here, updating my profile while'll being constantly reminded of the party thats going on next door. the party that i wasn't invited to yet again. the party being held by someone i've known and lived beside for ten years and who i've never been invited to a party by (now i know i don't know them that well, despite knowing them for this long, and i can understand why i wouldn't have been invited based on these reasons) but thats not what bothers me about it.

what bothers me about it is the fact that the 3 people who i hang out with at lunch, who i have classes with and talk to everyday, were invited and went, and never asked if i wanted to go. now does this surprise me? no. why not you may ask? well it doesn't surprise me because these same three people never invite me to do things outside of school. now why don't they if i hang out with, and talk to them everyday, you may be wondering? well maybe its because i'm not a sexually perverted jackass like they are. maybe its because i don't spend every lunch hour checking out the girls in my school, and commenting on their physical attributes. maybe its because i have better things to say to the girls that used to sit with us then make sexual comments about every little thing. oh, and maybe they also don't invite me to hang out with them on the weekend because i believe there are better things to do then drink yourself silly all night. that i don't have to get completely wasted to have a fun time. and i know i'm pretty damn sure that i don't want to start doing these things just so that i'll "have something to do".

i just wish that i could find some new friend to hang out with, to actually care about what they're doing and want to do the things that they do with them. but i'm finding it harder and harder to find these friends and maintain the relationship with them. the last person that i met and had a good friendship going with them, someone who i thought of was a good friend, just all of a sudden started to ignore me like everyone else. we went from seeing/talking to each other everyday, to us not talking for over a week practically overnight. and i would have been longer then that if i had not of put in the effort to try and talk to them. which now i am not, and i haven't seen or heard from them in about about two months now. now was it because i was too nice to them? that i would do favours for them if they asked? that i helped them get a job?(which, by the way was the reason i kept getting why we couldn't hang out as often was because she was busy with work. just to find out from a mutual friend that she has a boyfriend now, of which she has made no mention of. which makes me wonder how they met. do they work together? did she meet him at work? is it because of the job that i helped her get that i no longer see her?) that i wanted to learn and know more about them? or was it because she wanted to be more then friends? that i didn't pick up on the signals she was giving off, and because of my own inexperience with these matters that i may have lost her for good? and what really makes it hard is the fact that even though its been over two months now, that i just can't get over it. and i know that a big contributing factor is the fact that she lives 5 minutes away from me. that i have to pass her house 2,3,4 times a day, just to get to and from school and do one of my jobs. and i can't help but think of her as i do, and wonder how she is doing, and whats going on in her life. and even though i want to see her, i don't want to see her. there have been a few times that i've seen her going in or out of her house, and i've slowed down my walking just so that i can avoid talking to her, because i know that if i do, i'll just act like nothing is wrong, while the whole time i just want to ask her "why?".

well i think i've gone on too long now, i think i'm going to head off to bed before i get any more emotional, good night all, and sorry about such a long entry, its just been something thats been a long time coming.

nights

2 Comments | Send To Friend | 7 March 2004

What was the craziest thing you have ever done?

CONFESSIONS | well one thing that i can think of is something that happened about two or three years ago (whenever the movie finding forester was in theatres), anyways, me a two of my friends went to see that movie, but before we went to the movie we went to subway for dinner (i had two for one coupons).

so after i finish one of my subs, i put the other in my sweater pocket to bring home for lunch the next day and we go and see the movie. it was that bad of a movie, hmm, don't think i've seen a bad sean connery movie (lol, maybe i shouldn't watch league of extrodinary gentlemen, cause i heard it wasn't that great). well anyways, back to my crazy misadventure.

so yeah, after the movie finished, we went to go back to my place and we had to walk. now, i only live about 15-20 minutes away from the movie theatre, but it took us about an hour and a half to get home! why did it take this long you ask? (of course thats only the people who are still reading this mindless dribble). lol, because of the snow! all we did on the way home was have snowball fights, jump in the ditches (which were like up to my waist full of snow), and just acted like total idiots all the way home. twas a fun time indeed, until when i got home and realized that i had lost the sub someway on the way home. and the weirdest part about that was the fact that the wrapper was still in my pocket, yet the sub, and all traces of it were gone:S. my friends think it was the aliens who stole it. what do you think? was it you who took?

0 Comments | Send To Friend | 6 March 2004